From: Steve Masticola (?????????????????????????)
Subject: Jersey shops and new members of the family

Thanks for the help, Bill and Phil! (To answer Bill's question, I'm going
for a Ph.D [Ph.Ool. though I may be!])

Last week, I did a little exploring of the tobacco shops in North Jersey,
and got some good news after a fairly long trek. 

I first checked out "Mr. Pipe" at Woodbridge Plaza. Not too impressive. It's
a small mall pipe store which seems to be in business mostly to sell
cigarettes and lottery tickets (a common practice among local smokeshops).
They haven't paid much attention to making a fussy, dallying pipe shopper
(such as myself) feel at home. They had some quality pipes for sale, but
these were mostly either far behind the counter or in a display case in
front of the cash register, where I seemed sure to be trampled by
lottery-ticket buyers. I didn't stay long.

The next day I went to "John David" in Quaker Bridge Mall, a store I've
described here before. The owner was attentive, but his stock seemed devoid
of middle-of-the-line pipes (I wanted one without fills, though I was willing
to tolerate some surface defects) and didn't seem to digress beyond basic
shapes I already had. Conversation:

ME:	Do you have any freehands?
OWNER:	Well, _all_ our pipes are freehands, except for maybe the cheap
	ones which are made by machine. This Dunhill is a freehand, this
	Upshall is a freehand... But for fifty bucks, you're not going to
	get a freehand pipe without fills.
ME:	I meant Danish freehands.
OWNER:	Oh, you're looking for something _wild_. I don't have any Danish
	freehands on hand; they don't sell. But I can order one. Here, let
	me show you the catalog. (Shows me a picture of a spectacularly 
	garish Preben Holm.) 
ME:	That's a bit _too_ wild for me.
OWNER:	Well, there are some Petersons over here. Petersons are always a
	good buy. [I agree, but...]
ME:	But I already have two Petersons. I don't need another one.
OWNER:	Not wild enough? Okay, but believe me, for fifty bucks you're not
	going to get a pipe without fills.
ME:	(Suddenly realizing that he was, after all, operating his shop in
	close proximity to Princeton) I'll just look on my own.

Nothing particularly caught my eye there, so I moved on.

The last place I visited was, of course, where I hit the jackpot.  Oddly
enough, this was a "Tinder Box" recently moved from Brunswick Square Mall to
a storefront on Route 18. The move, IMHO, was the kiss of death - no foot
traffic, difficult to see the store from the road, even harder to get into
or out of the parking lot, and no lottery concession for months! Rush hour
was already pressing at 4 P.M., but I decided to chance a visit.

The attendant (a youth who didn't appear too savvy about pipes - he asked me
if I was interested in a "messerschaum") immediately offered me a 50 percent
discount on any pipe on the shelf. I decided to taste (or at least observe)
his wares, and spent about half an hour having him move pipes into and out
of his display case. (His setup was like "Mr. Pipe", but I was the only
customer in the store while I was there.) I finally narrowed my selection
down to an Italian "Mauro Armellini" quarter-bent cone with a spherical top
(something like a briar Calabash) and a Danish "Bjarne" full-bent pot with a
narrow mouth on the bowl. Both had bite-proof Lucite stems; although I saw
some diminishingly small sand pits and crevices, neither had any apparent
fills. The total price with the discount was $87.50, but the youth offered
them both for $75, no tax, and with some tobacco thrown in! I accepted, and
received a double reward and a pouch of "Sherlock's." I'd heartily recommend
that New Jersey smokers check this place out - before they get the lotto
machine!

After about three pipefuls, the "Armellini" and I are good friends. (And how
nice to be able to smoke at home, without "Felix Unger" and his spraycan! :-)
The "Bjarne" remains unsmoked; perhaps I'll open a good book and get
acquainted with her tonight. One of these days I'll go procure a Partagas,
though I'm not a frequent cigar smoker. 

Until next time, pipefriends,

					Smoke in peace,
					~\U Steve.


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( Pipe smokers will rule the world!      *   ??????????????????????	 (
 ) (if they don't run out of matches...) *   Steve Masticola, moderator	  )
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